SB 3.14.19

yäm ähur ätmano hy ardhaà
çreyas-kämasya mänini
yasyäà sva-dhuram adhyasya
pumäàç carati vijvaraù

TRANSLATION
O Respectful one, a wife is so helpful the is called the bet half of the man’s body, because of sharing of all auspicious activities, a man can move without any anxiety. Entrusting all responsibilities to his wife.

Purport
By the Vedic injunctions a wife is accepted as the better half of the man’s body because she is supposed to be responsible for discharging half of the duties of the husband. A family man has responsibility to perform 5 kinds of sacrifices, called Panchayagya, in order to get relief from all kinds of unavoidable sinful reactions incurred in the course of his affairs, when the man becomes qualitatively like the cats and dogs he forgets cultivating spiritual values and thus he accepts his wife as a sense gratificatory agency. When wife is accepted as sense gratificatory agency, personal beauty is the main consideration and as soon as there is a break in personal sense gratification, there is disruption or divorce.but when husband and wife aim at spiritual advancement, by mutual cooperation, there is no consideration of beauty or the disruption of so called love. In the material world there is no question of love. Marriage is actually a duty performed in cooperation as directed in scriptures. Therefore marriage is essential in order to avoid the life of cat and dog.

HH Radhanath swami maharaj
Today we are reading from SB 3.14.19 entitled pregnancy of Aditi in 2.58 . Here in by the inconceivable arrangements of providence, Aditi is approaching her husband Kashyap muni at an inauspicious time. Kashyap muni in response is explaining according to shastra and according to his own very deep realizations, the importance of a wife and husband living together by religious principles. He is describing the wife as a better half of the man’s body, because she shares the auspicious activities. Bhagavatam also describes in the grihastha ashram a wife is like a fort who protects the husband in the onslaughts of Maya. And similarly the husband protects the wife from exploitation of society in its ways. So what SP is explaining here is really a perfect marriage is a marriage based on mutual responsibilities based on each other for life where, under the directions of Guru sadhu and shastras, we understand clearly what is the purpose of life and what are the pit falls in progressing towards that perfection. The husband and wife live together to protect one another from falling a pray to Maya. The husband and wife encourage one another inspire one another enliven one another in performing their duties. All of their duties, there social duties, occupational duties, family duties, in such a way that they are all harmonized in devotional service. SP explains that when a husband and wife are both performing their spiritual duties to one another and to the children properly, then it is to be said that the home becomes vaikuntha. The home is the spiritual world. It is to be said that when a faithful wife is assisting her husband, in executing her spiritual activities is considered to be like Lakshmi that the husband is so fortunate he is actually living with the Goddess of fortune. In a sense she is representing Lakshmi and she will bring all good fortune. And similarly the husband who does not exploit the wife or who protects the wife, with great care and attention is considered to be representative of Lord Narayan. and the setting becomes the spiritual world. Thakur Bhaktivinod had this realization in his beautiful song, shudhha bhajat charan renu, he expresses that when he comes home, and he sees his family engaged in devotional activities, he actually can see his home transformed in Golok vrindavan, beyond vaikuntha, the highest of the vaikunthas, Golok Vrindavan.. now BVT, his wife bhagavati devi and he had 10 children..can you imagine to be mother of 10 children? Just to give birth to that many children is quite a service to save atleast . what to speak of taking care of them..? One child what to speak of 2 children practically drives a woman mad. She had 10 children!! But because the husband and wife were raising their children in such a spirit of devotion, the house wasn’t a place of anxiety, it was the spiritual world. 10th canto it is said 8.53 that one’s duty as a parent is that the child never takes birth in the material world again. To create such a spiritual atmosphere at home, the children naturally develop love for Krishna. That’s actually the duty of grihastha. SP taught us that when you have children we should not think that they are our children , they are Krishna’s children and he is so kindly entrusted them to our care, to our protection? Why is that Krishna entrusting a child under our care of a devotee? Specifically to give that child the chance of perfecting his/her life. To never take birth again in this material world. Or to attain the eternal abode of Lord. In order to do that, the husband and wife must create such a spiritual environment around the child that the child naturally is always remembering Krishna favorably. SP explains in his own life, when he was such a small child every morning when he would wake up he would see his mother and father performing mangal arati to their family deities of radha govind. Everyday. He would see his mother always cooking for the deities and then serving the family. The father would be doing pooja, every evening they would invite many sadhus to the house, the mother would be cooking so nicely offering to the deities, the father would be serving the sadhus he would have his children assist him. And then little SP would see his father with folded arms he is 11.14 reaching the sadhus for a blessing not for more money not for better facilities he would only ask for 1 blessing that my child would be a pure devotee of Sri Radharani, let Radharani’s blessings be upon him. So the little child was grown up . he didn’t see the mother and father in conflict with one another he saw that mother and father serving Krishna with love together. Without hypocrisy.(I think the children liked this class very much they are discussing amongst one another this is very good laughter…) of course the tendency is where every husband wants his wife to be like sita but then every husband has to be like Ram in order for things to work properly. And similarly the wife wants her husband to be like ,, but she should be like sita. But This is the eg of sita and ram.. they not only displayed their pure spiritual love for one another but they also revealed the ideal what a wife and husband should strive to be. And that means sense gratification is not really a consideration in marriage. Responsibilities for one’s true welfare is there responsibility. Therefore when ram Chandra was banished to the forest for 14 years Sita was given the opportunity to live in Ayodhya waiting for her husband. “no my duty is to serve you, my duty is to assist you no matter what..” she presented so many arguments. But Ram could not tolerate the idea of Sita coming to forest with him..”do you not understand what it is like living in the forest? You have been living in Ayodhya. you have been living in Mithila, your father is king, on soft beds with silken sheets. you will have to sleep on the hard ground. At the best your bed will be dry leaves. You are wearing beautiful garments of the princess you will have to wear the 14:05hardcores barracks of trees. You are protected in nice palaces. You will be subjected to burning summers freezing winters, torrential rains there will be lions and leopards and poisonous snakes, mosquitoes biting what to speak of rakshas in the forest these days.. This is not a .place for u..” but Sita she had such a devotion , such a sense of responsibility. She told Sri Ramchandra that “to me to live in Ayodhya without you is like to live in hell.. for me to live in heaven without you is like living in hell and to live with you in hell would be better than heaven..” that was the dedication. And ultimately she convinced Ram with tears in her eyes she said “my father put my hand in yours at the time of marriage, he vowed that in health or disease in success of failure, for better or for worse, in all circumstances I was to faithfully serve you. you cant make my father a liar. I am going with you. So ram said. “Come with me”. So that is Sita. There was not a question of material considerations disturbing her relationship of faithful service. And at the same time to protect Sita when Ravana took her away, Lord Ram was ready to declare one of the greatest war in the history of world to protect Sita. So that is husband and wife. That is the ideal what humanity should strive for in the traditional sense when there is children there is such a responsibility for the children. Its immense. In .fact Bhakti Sidhhant Saraswati Thakur just to emphasize the great responsibility of having children, Srila BSST said “if I cud give one child Krishna consciousness, would have many many hundreds of children” but the fact that he took sanyasa. This testimony is no t easy. So tremendous responsibility. If only human being understood what an intense responsibility it is to have a child before god and also karmaikaly , because if we raise the child in such a way that due to our neglect, of our defect they have the propensities for the sinful activities, we r responsible and we share the reactions of their sins because of our neglect. Such a responsibility. The child should naturally love Krishna. And in order for the child to feel love for Krishna especially in the young age the child must feel the love of the parents and must be able to identify of recognize that the love of parents , the origin of that is their love for Krishna, they feel Krishna’s love coming through their parents and naturally they love Krishna. That’s wht sp taught his parents loved him dearly they cared for him so much, he tells stories about..When he wanted a little toy gun and he cried and his father gave and he still cried his father said what I gave you is 19:20 so he gave him. So it wasn’t that he was spoiling him. It was just the gesture of love a child can recognize and understand. But at the same time he saw that their life their everything was worship of Govinda, Radharani therefore its natural to understand that when when parents love Krishna, that they will make the atmosphere at home in such a way that the child can feel Krishna’s love through them. If the parents are hypocritical, turns the children away from god. They see that parents chanting japa and worshiping the deities but neglecting them , being harsh and cruel to them , they make a connection , this is what kind of person , worships Krishna that we have seen and even in our own society, where parents have been neglectful or not performing their duties properly , the children have difficult time chanting the names of God, because they connect the chanting of Holy name to cruel behavior because they are chanting and they are hating me , that they are chanting and neglecting me.. what a responsibility it is. That’s the 1st and foremost duty of a parent that the child never takes birth again in this material world. Now generally in traditionally society the husband has to work, and it is the wife’s responsibility to beat home and actually take care of the children which is a 24 hr job. It is very difficult. I remember in my own life as a child, my father would work and he would have his friends and everything around, whereas my mother would just sit with us day and night. 21.50 and actually ,the mother’s duty is really that’s her duty to the husband. To maintain such a nice sweet spiritual atmosphere at home. Therefore the husband is grateful. And that is Kashyap muni’s principle here. When the husband and wife live together based on pure spiritual principles, then the wife and the husband are actually assisting one another towards the ultimate goal of life. Vaikuntha. And pralhad maharaj explains if they don’t , if they are not performing these responsibilities then the household life is just a deep dark well. Where there is no water there is only imminent suffering. And SP explains really the basic difference between a spiritual grihastha life and a material grihastha life is whether service to one another and service to Krishna is the center or SG. In today’s world, there no education as this. Man and woman come together on the basis what prabhupad explains is physical beauty, personality actually I saw a poll which is quite interesting. It was a poll of so many tens of thousands of people. And what a man in American society look for in a wife and what a women look for a man in a good husband, and the number one thing a man looks for in a wife is physical beauty. And then number one thing that a women looks for in husband is a protective personality. haribol. so it seems that women are more spiritually aware at least potentially. That is the condition of our society. Women want protection. They need protection. So herein it is described so nicely that when SG is the center between husband and wife, SG is temporary, it never satisfies us, and when the SG is disturbed, what do we have common in between anymore? Physical beauty.. who remains beautiful for long? Sometimes a woman is very very beautiful and when she gets baby or something she changes very much that happens. Or just in age they change, men change then there is nothing in common anymore. It is the glittering glare of illusion. Actually SP explains that sense what his father do? SP said you actually wanted to marry a beautiful girl and his father married him to a girl who wasn’t beautiful. When SP said why are you doing this? He said you wil understand it in future. laughter. I am doing this because it is best for your spiritual life. We shouldn’t be attached to these things. We should be attached to our responsibilities. SP says there is actually no love in material world. The so called romance or so called love in this world is illusion. One day your are looking stars and moons in each other’s eyes. On the shore of the Pacific Ocean and few years later your see red hot coal in each other’s eyes in divorce court. 70% of American marriages end like that within 3 years. According to federal statistic, 70% of American marriages are divorced within 3 years. Now what is divorce . means really a trauma. A large % of people who go through the crisis of divorce, suffer depression and suicidal tendencies. Its one of the most traumatic experiences in one’s life that causes severe depression which is a serious mental illness. Divorce is horrible. Its horrible for the husband and wife but it’s the most horrible for their children. 92% of children in 27:48 prisons are coming from broken homes. Coming from parents who are separated or divorced. That says something. It’s a tragic experience. If the parents have a real sense of love for the child, they will somehow or the other get along. Stop arguing. Stop fighting. Stay together for higher principles. That is dignity. That is integrity. That is civilization. That is responsibility. And throughout that process actual respect develops between husband and wife. And from that respect, especially even in material society, when the pass through obstacles some or other make it together with respect, they actually develop real deep affection for one another it usually comes when the affection is real and deep when they are in their 60,70s .. (Laughter)… in today’s world,… that has to be something earned. So if the goal of life is KC, the responsibility of marriage is to be taken very very seriously. What sp is saying is marriage is not for romance. it’s not for enjoyment. It is for responsibility. We have to be responsible to each other. And if we play that role, Krishna manifests himself in our lives. And when Krishna manifests himself within our children’s lives.

Question answers
Q1 Question is not clear
Answer-
That is why we require a guru and sadhu.. otherwise there are apparent contradictions in Vedas..some scholars from Canada university came to see SP and asked “why there are contradictions in the commentaries of acharyas?” SP said “there are no contradictions in the commentaries of acharyas”. Hare Krishna. That was all he said. He said because you can not understand, so that is why.. 33 we really cant understand vedas properly without gurus. So the great acharyas and the bhagavatam itself, explains certain situations according to what is trying to be taught. Kashyap muni is a divine personality. He is obviously not an ordinary person to give birth to Vamandeva to be father of demigods. He is not an ordinary personality. Even we find lord Brahma. Lord Brahma is born of Vishnu directly he doesn’t have a mother he is Aatmabhu. But still we read that even he does things. His daughter walked he chased. But still six sons of mariachi when they ridiculed him for doing that , they had to fall down in the birth of demons because they criticized the great soul. Even though factually the great soul, was doing something that wasn’t right. Sometimes the Lord wants to instruct the world even through great souls. Look at lord siva when he chased after Mohini murti, but he is Mahadeva. Vaishnavanam yatha shambho. Of course he was Vishnu who was chasing after but still the way he did quite embarrassing. But he wasn’t even embarrassed. Yes Krishna’s power is beyond mind why should I be embarrassed? The commentaries of the section of Mohini murti, is actually explaining the power of attraction. So we have to understand that when bhagavatam when acharyas explains, they explain the same instance, incident from different level. From one level, you know these people are great acharyas, they are very very great personalities, in case of Kashyap he is great person, and therefore he should be glorified and understood from that point of view. But from another level, from the level of teaching human society what’s right and what’s wrong he is acting wrong. So yes we find this many times. There are different levels of teachings. In the case of Kashyap muni its really happening not really because of mahamaya.it is actually an orchestrated plan of Lord. He is just an instrument. So he cannot be criticized. But to teach people moral principles and sense control we can describe it from that point of view how he actually in a lamentable condition. Yes? Its not that Jay and ViJay 2 gate keepers of vaikuntha who are specifically coming down to earth and jay and Vijay juts look at them, they are criticized like anything for criticizing the 4 kumaras. But actually it was the will of the Lord. From a lower level, yes they were doing the wrong thing and we must understand how they were wrong, why they were wrong so that we wont criticize vaishnavas. Yes but from a higher level of understanding SP says, that Krishna likes to fight and if Krishna wants to fight he fights with his devotees. He is not going to fight with just anybody. So therefore it was Krishna’s will. it wasn’t for jay and Vijay falling then Narsimhadev would never appear. varah dev would never appear, ramchandra never appeared. Because according to the demigods appealing the Lord because of these demons. Yes? Hiranya kashipu , hiranyaksha, ravana,shishupal dantavakra. and the lord appears because he wants to display his wonderful pastimes. To the whole world. So actually these are the orchestrated desires of the Lord. The Lord impelled why jay and vijay to commit this criminal activity in 1 sense to facilitate his pastimes. So jay and vijay are glorious. But at the same time from another level we understand, you know that the mistakes and how even people in such an exalted position can fall down if they commit such mistakes. And kashyap was an instrument. Its not that hiranyakashipu and hiranyaksha can take birth from vijay Sharma in Punjab. I mean for them to take birth they had to take birth from the very very very powerful personalities. Yes? So yes Aditi was overwhelmed with this desire at this inauspicious time. And kashyap muni fell down to it. Even though he know that it was wrong. So from one level we r going to understand the dangers. The dangers of material enjoyments. The result of SG is giving birth to hiranyaksha and hiranya kashipu. What do hiranyaksha and hiranyakashipu represents , suffering, because they cause so much suffering to others. But we can also understand this symbolically, every time we give into sinful activities, we are actually giving birth to a Hiranyaksha or hiranyakashipou in the form of suffering karma that is going to come upon us and upon others too. Its an anology.and analogy doesn’t dispute the historical significance but there is an anology here that every time you fall down to sinful activities, you are giving birth to a miserable condition of karma to yourself and to others . you r giving birth to a hiranyaksha and hiranya kashipu in your own little way who is going to cause problems. at the same time it’s a more historical event . so we are going to discuss it with the point of view of the lesson to be learnt.yes kashyap muni was wrong in this incident. But we understand from the higher platform the the Lord’s leela and who is going to be the instruments in Lord’s leela then we are going to understand the greatness of kashyap muni. We have to understand it in the context. If kashyap muni took birth as vasudeva in devaki we can understand that dasharath and kaushalya also. It’s the same spirit of the same personality that continues in the great personality. So in that way we must understand at various levels of consciousness. Various levels of instructing and teaching. Does that acs ur question? Because this in SB these acharyas the real reason this is happening is because the Lord is merciful. That’s actually the answer. Look at the difference between mahabharat and SB . veda vyas is explaining the same situation in very different ways. In SB veda vyas is explaining the story to invoke pure unalloyed devotional service in somebody. In mahabharat he may explain the same story in a way to invoke basic human morality or chivalry in a person which is very lesser platform that even doesn’t address pure devotional service. yes? why? Because he is merciful to everybody. He is trying to lift up these people. He is also trying to perfect the lives of people 43:25 so the Lord is merciful and the personalities who are speaking within the scriptures , they are the instruments within the hands of the Lord’s mercy so they are explaining different things to different people to teach us different lessons.
Q2 not only what’s good for you . but when you r teaching another . even Krishna’s leelas. When sp was teaching Krishna’s leelas. Or when he used to speak Krishna’s leelas to an ordinary non devotee, he would present it is some other way and when he is representing to a devotee when he has surrendered his life, there is a higher dimension. One leela might just teach us a moral principle. Another could be teaching very very high ecstatic rasa of love. yes? so an expert preacher is a person who a actually understands what a person needs to hear. And for us as devotees all these different aspects should be understood simultaneously. Because that’s what being given to us. All at different levels.what is takes durvasa muni? He is really criticized isn’t it? How he was angry at ambarish maharaj? He wanted to kill ambarish maharaj. What he did was just drank a teaspoon of water. He wanted to kill him for that..? yes ? he created a firing monster . he was outraged . he had to run away from sudarshan chakra for a year. So from that point of view, durvasa muni is like fallen yogi who could not control his anger. And anger is born of lust and he created it. That’s a lesson. That’s a lesson for us to follow. That ambarish was just a simple bhakta and durvasa muni had such immense mystic powers. But which is higher? Even with the greatest mystic powers still without the mercy of Krishna you cant overcome.47:00 lust anger and greed. Very difficult. At other places we find who durvasa muni is. He is an avatar of lord Shiva. And who is Shiva. He is the greatest vaishanava. When durvasa muni came to vrindavan, Radharani cooked for him and served him with such love and affection and he actually gave Radharani the benediction that whatever she cooks will takes like nectar and anyone who eats that food would never ever get sick. Is durvas muni just a regular uncontrolled yogi who is just murdering innocent grihasthas? No he is a fantastically elevated great soul. Somehow or other lord Siva took the form of shankaracharya. To mislead people. He took form of Durvasa muni to teach world by his misbehavior. He is not just like you and me getting angry. Other he wouldn’t be in SB again and again.. he is a great soul . if durvas muni came, he is a great vaishanava actually. Durvasa muni came to this room in this temple and we – what did you do to ambrish maharaj you did fall down.. and Radharani when she met durvas muni that was long time after he tried to kill ambarish maharaj, it was after he tried to kill pandavas they were all afraid because he might curse them because they didn’t have food for him in the kamyavan forest. 49 so we have to understand these personalities. From one level we glorify them. Durvas muni was born of atreya muni and anusuya. Very great personalities. What to speak of kashyap muni. The father of the Lord. So we can see him from his elevated vaishanava position from the point of view of the lessons that are taught to us through his particular leela of the lord. Another example-> it is aligned with this example. Because I know that everyone has to go to their prescribed duties. Ashvathama killed the 5 children of draupadi. Draupadi was weeping crying. Arjuna went and captured ashvathama to neutralize brahmastra. Tied him up. Threw him at draupadi’s feet. Yes? Bhima said “kill him immediately.” Draupadi said “no let him go. No harm should b” done to him. Because his mother has only 1 son. And that’s him. And she should not have to suffer him as I m suffering. I know what it is like for a mother to loose her children. She should not suffer like me. Now if you study that chapter of SB you will find in different purports SP says very apparently contradictory things. At one purport he says because she was a woman she was sentimental. In another purport he says because she is a woman she had a very soft heart and she was a pure devotee and she had compassion to others. So at one place she is practically being condemned for being a sentimentalist. The man should be punished. Right? But at another place she is glorified for her soft hearted vaishanva quality of compassion. So what one is she? Is she just a sentimental person who se rational intelligence is overcome by mundane sentiments or she is a great compassionate vaishanavi? SP says “both”. Which one is she? SP is chastising her and praising her for doing the same thing from different levels. From the higher levels she is simply a great devotee. Just expressing her love and compassion. But from more instructive level, on basic human behavioral patterns that are meant to be cultivated for pure devotion she wasn’t acting appropriately she was simultaneously perfectly appropriate and inappropriate from different levels. So similarly for kashyap muni , maitrya Rishi,and these great souls, obviously maitreya Rishi on one level, because of his behavior and his association he was on this level, but the fact that he is able to speak such a transcendental knowledge and greatest greatest personalities are learning from him we can understand that he is 54:05 also. Sometimes his behavior is like this but his actual position is like this . and because he is behaving like this his teaching us what not to be. But because of his position he is being glorified.